SeanFromCanada's Blog

Originally posted on Oct 4, 2014

I love cocktailing.  It’s so much fun hanging out, chatting with people…having a good laugh while tilting one back.  Calgary is a people town, and we like to get together.  We are a social city, and a lot of big ideas and business deals still get started over a Rye and Ginger.

Food presents a bit of challenge for me at these events though.  Many events start just after work, meaning it’s been somewhere around four or five hours since I’ve last eaten.  Given that a cocktail party often involves drinking, at my age, I know I should make a point of eating sometime…but when? 

I could eat before I hit the party…arrive half an hour late, eat as fast as I can at some fast food place (it’s not like I’m going to sit down at a full service restaurant – too slow).  It’s rush job, cram the food down and get it done, but at least I won’t need to find myself three drinks in on an empty stomach…

I could place my fate with the appies that will surely be walking around…most parties are aware enough to serve food if their event crosses the 6:00 pm mark.  But that doesn’t always work so well.  First, it’s hard to hold a drink, and an item (or small plate) of food, and shake someone’s hand…it’s awkward juggling, spilling, ‘cheersing their drink’ when I meet new people with full hands.  Everyone’s trying to gracefully navigate the exchange, greasy fingers and all.  Or perhaps the exchange is taking place around a high-top table, as we huddle around, seeking refuge from the bump and grind of the party.  The imagery is similar to horses around the trough at feeding time.

And if I go the appetizer route at the cocktail party, I still need to navigate the actual food.  It surprises me how many party planners opt for the ‘garlic on onion’ combo platter.  I’ve always questioned the strategy of contaminating the guests’ breath when they’re going to be talking face to face in close quarters.  ‘Oh hello, Mr. Spitty Talker, nice to see you’re enjoying the appetizers…I’ll just casually pop a breath mint into my mouth, hoping quell the assault that is your breath’ .  

The last challenge of eating at the cocktail party lies simply in the challenge of filling up.  I don’t know about you, but trying to actually eat a full meal at a cocktail party is just such a frustrating effort.  Chasing around the plates of food, awkwardly grabbing 2, or even 3, of the selection off the plate, trying to stuff the first in your mouth so you can hold the other two (plus your drink)…it’s a mess, and I lack the required grace to pull it off smoothly.  ‘Yes, I’d love to stay and talk to you, Mr. New Business Prospect, but I think I’ll end our good conversation abruptly and I see if I can catch the breaded shrimp that just walked by because that’s the most filling food item here’.  

My last option is forgetting about the food – just hold out and eat after the event.  This turns out one of two different ways.  I reel in the drinking, early, and ride the water.  I arrive home around 8:00 or so, starving, and dive into the fridge for whatever I can find.  Except I don’t – I do the good night routine with Phoebe first, and then I connect in with the rest of the family…then I eat.  By this point, I’m filling my stomach just before going to bed, simply eating out of physical necessity.  No joy here.  Just a fill up.

A food pill would make cocktailing so much … easier.

p.s. The second way the ‘eat after the cocktail party’ ends up often involves Chinese food at 2:00 am, but that’s another story…