SeanFromCanada's Blog

Originally posted on Oct 20, 2014

Queue the montage music…

I am aware that I’ve ‘checked out’ of food. I purposely try not to let it bother me, or bring me down. I just deal with it – get it done. It’s the best relationship I can create and foster… co-existence is my best case scenario. Every meal is a check mark…and we simply try not to bug each other too much.

Regrettably, it’s not normal to hate food and for most people, it’s just plain weird. I’m on the outside looking in…and it doesn’t feel very good.

There was a day this summer when we had a bunch of friends up to the cabin. We spent the afternoon in the boat, tubing, waterskiing, swimming, sunning ourselves under a pure blue sky. The kids loved it, and so did the adults. All of the sudden, someone determined it was time to wrap things up so we could go eat dinner.

Following dinner, the adults were sitting around the fire and I raised the topic of food. People listened to my strange perspective, and smirked at my ‘different view’ of things. One of the guys said to me “I hear you Sean, food can be really challenging. But you know, we all work so hard in this go go go world, sometimes we deserve to just sit down and enjoy a good meal. You know, just relax and be happy”. All I could think was “…relax and be happy – right – that’s what I was doing this afternoon, until it was time for dinner”. In this moment, I realized just how different my relationship with food is vs most other people. I guess I’m just a different kind of person.

Please let me be clear though – there is no joy in my failure to connect with food. To gain so little enjoyment from it separates me from my friends and family. I fail to meaningfully contribute to the day to day operations of my family. I over-stress and stretch my wife, directly as a result of my food disposition. Like an addict, I pledge again and again to change, but fail time after time …I hate food for its ever-presence.

I will however, keep working on my relationship with food, as it’s too much a part of our societal norms and patterns. Most don’t just eat to live; most live to eat. It’s how we socialize, connect and (strangely to me) gain enjoyment, peace and satisfaction. I marvel, jealously, at the happiness people gain from food…and sometimes wish I was like that.

Thank you for reading the I Hate Food series over the past couple of weeks. For me, this is some of the most ‘risky’ writing I’ve ever done. There are a few reasons for this, most having to do with how unpopular one can be for being a hater of food.

I’ve tried to inject some humor in these articles – for your enjoyment and entertainment – but also because I’m not a negative person at heart. Continuing to use the word HATE was challenging for me, it’s just not a word I want to often use.

There are two key acknowledgements I need to make, in order for this series to feel complete and right. The first is to once again acknowledge the serious issue of malnutrition. It’s not only an international problem, but it exists in our country, cities and communities. In a country as wealthy and socially conscious as Canada, I’m gut-punched to know that kids are going to school hungry. I’m devastated to know that our local food banks are always running low. A couple ways I’m trying to help is through my position on the Board of the Alex Community Health Centre  and through NeoStream’s Adopt a Family program. I’m also working to instill the fabric of charity and philanthropy into my children. I will continue throughout my life to try to make a difference for those less fortunate. I hope you know my rants in these blogs were for creative, entertainment and (likely) therapeutic purposes.

The second acknowledgement I want to make is to thank my wife, Catherine. Most don’t know how hard it was for her to sit silently by as I aired my views on food. Firstly, she’s a food enthusiast, and amazing cook, and she shares absolutely NONE of my opinions on the topic of food. Second, food and its surrounding issues are at the core of most of our ‘conflicts’. It hasn’t been easy for her to be publically dragged through this. But in this difficulty, I’ve again seen how much Catherine loves and encourages me. She knows developing my writing skills is important to me and she sees the fun and delight I gain from writing on this blog. She has supported my growth, regardless of her own feelings on the matter. In this example, I know I’m one of the lucky ones who has a partner in life who is committed to helping me realize my potential. I’m so thankful for this, it’s a beautiful example of what relationships are supposed to be. Thank you my love.

And so there we are – I Hate Food, written, published, complete. I had a ton of fun writing it, and learned more about myself in doing so. I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading it…even if you see things a little differently 😉